The Acolyte Over the Void
The Parish of the Paranormal is a church-like structure outside of the bounds of time and space. It floats on its own island in a swirling void of black and blue, nonexistent stars twinkling within its depths.
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This island—and everything on it—is as familiar as it is alien. The silver-blue church seems to lean at odd angles, and its doors and windows lead to spaces that they physically shouldn't. Its outside gardens are filled with aconite, and if not that, then pitch-black grass that absorbs all light. The stones that make up the winding paths through the grounds continue straight off the sides of the island and into the abyss, while their lampposts glow with green flames that never die.
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The sole occupant of this island calls itself the Acolyte of Aconite. A creature seemingly made of featureless shadows that wears nothing but purple robes and an ever-present grin, it lurks exclusively around the church's altar and gardens. It never goes to other parts of the church, as it claims that "They lead to places I don't care about and may spaghettify me."
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In fact, the Acolyte claims many things, such as that "Tea is the lifeblood of the universe," "Aconite does not, in fact, repel monsters all that well," ""The priest will be back any second," "My next book's coming out soon, I swear," "The void beneath us definitely doesn't have anything in it," and "I almost certainly don't actually exist." The validity of these claims is questionable.
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Despite the odd nature of the Parish and its randomly-appearing access portals, both the location and the Acolyte have so far been completely safe to interact with. However, one's patience may not leave intact, as the Acolyte has a strange fixation on novels and will rant about any genre, trope, or pet peeve the second it's given half a chance to.
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From werewolves to ghosts to superpowers, nothing's off the board for the Acolyte as long as it has a supernatural—or at the very least harrowing—kick. Its favorite genres are romance, horror, thriller, suspense, adventure, lower fantasy and sci-fi, paranormal, and other such things. "Anything that gets the blood pumping, for either good or bad reasons," it claims.
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When it comes to romances, it claims to like them "sweet, slow, and balanced." Even if the characters it writes are terrible people doing terrible things, they at least won't be terrible to each other, and one won't dominate the other. The rivalries it writes will be equal and the women it writes will be strong. (It has that very creed etched onto the wall of the church for reasons no one can really discern.)
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The Acolyte has been questioned as to its gender identity and true name, but it has never given a clear answer. It simply reiterates its claim that it doesn't truly exist, and therefore doesn't need a name or a gender. The use of "it" throughout this article is by its own wish.
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Another one of the Acolyte's outlandish claims is that it has a "real" counterpart on Earth that acts through it. While it has never revealed who this person is, it says that this person is "of the druids," "dwells in the crevices of mountains most rocky," "creates fake creatures while looking after real creatures," and "critiques and guides the writing of others while being their own worst critic."
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The Acolyte somehow gets internet in its pocket dimension, so it encourages contact for socialization and professional reasons. While contacting the Acolyte is safe, this writer will give a word of caution: don't bring up insta-love to it in a positive context.
Ever.
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